Gurus
The story of a cult survivor...
 
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"This excellent memoir reveals how a charismatic, manipulative spirit medium can use love for God and neighbor as a hook to drag a small group of devotees into her cynical web of impossible goals for self-perfection. After a heroic struggle for insight, Alexandra Amor was one of the cult members who broke the abusive spell." Joe Szimhart, Cult Information Specialist |
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Alexandra Amor not only survived this harrowing experience but wrote a highly readable - book, Cult, A Love Story, to help others avoid the same fate.
She has also very kindly created the excellent article below exclusively for readers of this website. Thank you Alexandra for sharing your cautionary tale and for helping others understand the truly psychopathic nature of the most manipulative gurus and similar self-styled 'religious' leaders. You can find out more about Alexandra's experiences at her website. |
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God's Psychopath
Alexandra Amor
When people find out I'm a cult survivor, the second-most frequent question I get asked is, "Did your cult leader truly believe she was the voice of God or was she simply manipulating those around her?" In other words, was she a true psychopath, or was there some part of her honestly believed she was serving God. It took many years of recovery from the cult experience and contemplation on this question to come up with my own answer, which is this: I think my cult leader had to believe her own spin about her place at God's right hand to a large degree in order to manipulate her followers so completely. AND I also think she consciously knew she was manipulating us.
Which is a weasly answer, so let me back up and unpack this a bit.
The International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA) has a series of excellent articles on their website about the theories of the psychological make-up of those who become cult leaders. The difficulty in this field of study is that cult leaders never make themselves available for psychological tests, so psychologists and others who study cults have to base their findings and understanding on the reports of those who have had the poor fortune to be involved with a cult leader. People such as myself.
I belonged to a quasi-Eastern, New Age, meditation cult in Vancouver, BC, Canada from 1989 to 2000. It is important to understand that no one who joins a cult thinks they are doing so; no one would knowingly put themselves in harm's way like that. We join groups filled with people with similar interests and values. We find like-minded people who are seeking answers to life's more difficult questions. The indoctrination period for a cult member is a slow process on the part of the leader, who gradually manipulates and changes the members' thought processes and self-image. By the time one is fully embedded in the cult, it is too late for rational thought. Despite this, those who are in cults never, ever apply that word to themselves. In their mind they are doing God's work or 'clearing the planet' or preparing for an alien invasion or whatever other important task is the mission of the group.
And just as cult members don't think they're in a cult, cult leaders don't label themselves that way either.
So the evidence for psychopatholgy in cult leaders has to come second-hand from ex cult members who have had the good fortune to have survived the experience.
As Will mentions on this site, psychopaths are generally classified as: social predators who charm, manipulate, and ruthlessly plow their way through life, leaving a broad trail of broken hearts, shattered expectations, and empty wallets.
Completely lacking in conscience and in feelings for others, the selfishly take what they want and do as they please, violating social norms and expectations without the slightest sense of guilt or regret.
My experience following a cult leader for ten years was that she exhibited all the traits mentioned in this quote. Her charm was evident to everyone around her; she was someone who could have charmed the pants off the Pope. This charm was, of course, the precursor to the manipulation that all cult leaders employ to control every aspect of their followers' lives, including how and where they live, where they work, where their money goes (to the cult leader, obviously) who they marry and much more.
And, sadly, cult leaders are absolutely lacking in empathy. If they weren't, they wouldn't be able to do some of the atrocious, abusive, life-and-soul destroying and criminal things they do. My cult leader, a woman I call Limori in my memoir of this experience, got around the issue of her total lack of empathy and compassion for anyone other than herself by declaring to us that she was applying God's 'tough love'. Her cruelty, she said, was in inverse proportion to her, and God's, love for us. If she didn't love us she would not be so hard on us and would let us fail at serving God's light (which was our mission). So we accepted all the inexcusable behaviour she doled out and as a result she split families up, forced mothers to abandon their children, broke up innumerable loving relationships, and left many destroyed lives in her wake. She is dead now, but the ripple affect of her reign continues to this day, flowing outward through the families who are still dealing with the losses that came at her hand.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely, as the saying goes. And that was certainly true of my cult leader. And her psychopathic tendencies only served to help her achieve a stunning measure of control over those of us who followed her.
Alexandra Amor is the author of the award-winning memoir Cult, A Love Story, as well as four children's novels and an upcoming series of mystery novels set in 1890 in the North Okanagan region of British Columbia. To find out more please visit her website.
When people find out I'm a cult survivor, the second-most frequent question I get asked is, "Did your cult leader truly believe she was the voice of God or was she simply manipulating those around her?" In other words, was she a true psychopath, or was there some part of her honestly believed she was serving God. It took many years of recovery from the cult experience and contemplation on this question to come up with my own answer, which is this: I think my cult leader had to believe her own spin about her place at God's right hand to a large degree in order to manipulate her followers so completely. AND I also think she consciously knew she was manipulating us.
Which is a weasly answer, so let me back up and unpack this a bit.
The International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA) has a series of excellent articles on their website about the theories of the psychological make-up of those who become cult leaders. The difficulty in this field of study is that cult leaders never make themselves available for psychological tests, so psychologists and others who study cults have to base their findings and understanding on the reports of those who have had the poor fortune to be involved with a cult leader. People such as myself.
I belonged to a quasi-Eastern, New Age, meditation cult in Vancouver, BC, Canada from 1989 to 2000. It is important to understand that no one who joins a cult thinks they are doing so; no one would knowingly put themselves in harm's way like that. We join groups filled with people with similar interests and values. We find like-minded people who are seeking answers to life's more difficult questions. The indoctrination period for a cult member is a slow process on the part of the leader, who gradually manipulates and changes the members' thought processes and self-image. By the time one is fully embedded in the cult, it is too late for rational thought. Despite this, those who are in cults never, ever apply that word to themselves. In their mind they are doing God's work or 'clearing the planet' or preparing for an alien invasion or whatever other important task is the mission of the group.
And just as cult members don't think they're in a cult, cult leaders don't label themselves that way either.
So the evidence for psychopatholgy in cult leaders has to come second-hand from ex cult members who have had the good fortune to have survived the experience.
As Will mentions on this site, psychopaths are generally classified as: social predators who charm, manipulate, and ruthlessly plow their way through life, leaving a broad trail of broken hearts, shattered expectations, and empty wallets.
Completely lacking in conscience and in feelings for others, the selfishly take what they want and do as they please, violating social norms and expectations without the slightest sense of guilt or regret.
My experience following a cult leader for ten years was that she exhibited all the traits mentioned in this quote. Her charm was evident to everyone around her; she was someone who could have charmed the pants off the Pope. This charm was, of course, the precursor to the manipulation that all cult leaders employ to control every aspect of their followers' lives, including how and where they live, where they work, where their money goes (to the cult leader, obviously) who they marry and much more.
And, sadly, cult leaders are absolutely lacking in empathy. If they weren't, they wouldn't be able to do some of the atrocious, abusive, life-and-soul destroying and criminal things they do. My cult leader, a woman I call Limori in my memoir of this experience, got around the issue of her total lack of empathy and compassion for anyone other than herself by declaring to us that she was applying God's 'tough love'. Her cruelty, she said, was in inverse proportion to her, and God's, love for us. If she didn't love us she would not be so hard on us and would let us fail at serving God's light (which was our mission). So we accepted all the inexcusable behaviour she doled out and as a result she split families up, forced mothers to abandon their children, broke up innumerable loving relationships, and left many destroyed lives in her wake. She is dead now, but the ripple affect of her reign continues to this day, flowing outward through the families who are still dealing with the losses that came at her hand.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely, as the saying goes. And that was certainly true of my cult leader. And her psychopathic tendencies only served to help her achieve a stunning measure of control over those of us who followed her.
Alexandra Amor is the author of the award-winning memoir Cult, A Love Story, as well as four children's novels and an upcoming series of mystery novels set in 1890 in the North Okanagan region of British Columbia. To find out more please visit her website.